Love Your Wife by Providing for Her

Scriptures: Matthew 25:14-30 ; Ephesians 5:28-33
by Jacob Abshire on February 9, 2024

We sometimes forget that Jesus demonstrated compassion to those outside the kingdom by feeding them (Mk. 6:34-44) while emphasizing a greater compassion for those inside the kingdom for the same. He asked, “Are you not of more value than they?” (Matt. 6:26). It was a rhetorical question.

In our series on loving your wife, Jesus has repeatedly exemplified the kind of love we are to express. This is because the relationship between Christ and the Church is the model for marriage (Eph. 5:22). His way of providing for the Church her basic, earthly needs, Jesus teaches us to love our wives by providing for them in the same way.

Ephesians 5 ought to be a familiar passage by now. Let’s return to it again. “Husbands should love their wives as their own bodies” (Eph. 5:28). Pause to consider the implications. 

No husband refuses his own body. When he is thirsty, he drinks. When he is hungry, he eats. When he awakes, he brushes his teeth, dresses himself, combs his hair (if he still has it), shaves his beard, and more.

You get the idea. 

There is nothing wrong with this. It is right to do—and some men need to know that. A man naturally takes care of his own physical needs. This is because no man “ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church” (Eph. 5:29).

In light of this, consider your instruction, “Let each one of you love his wife as himself” (Eph. 5:33). As you dress yourself, dress your wife. As you feed yourself, feed your wife. Of course, this is meant figuratively—unless, of course, your wife has physical disabilities. The principle in this case is that you, as the husband, should provide for your wife’s daily physical needs.

Husband, Work for Your Wife

In his letter to Timothy, Paul makes a shocking statement about men providing for their families. Let it sink in. “If anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever” (1 Tim. 5:8). How much more should a husband provide for his wife? Make no mistake, if you are physically able, you should work. You should seek to be the primary provider for your wife. Your work reflects your love for your wife. Make it count.

Husband, Fortify for Your Wife

Biblically speaking, providing for your wife includes temperance and wisdom. We should not provoke envy. The “love of money is a root of all sorts of evil,” as the apostle reminds us (1 Tim. 6:10), and we should not lead our wives into temptation. By getting to know your wife, you can intentionally provide gifts and ordinary needs that do not cause her to lose her contentment with what the Lord has given her. Not that she cannot guard herself, but that God designed your marriage to be a team that fortifies each other against the enemy’s attack—not to be a device the enemy uses.

Husband, Plan for Your Wife

Part of being a provider for your wife is being the leader in terms of plans and budgeting. Being the primary breadwinner means nothing if you blow all the bread before it can be enjoyed. This means you should be content with what you have, just as your wife should. Furthermore, it means you steward what the Lord has provided to you both (Matt. 25:14-30). Budgeting is not every man’s forte. I know this. But, even if your wife handles the line items, you should participate and take responsibility for the expenses and plans so your wife is not overwhelmed with the burden. Essentially, it is about providing by being wise with spending.

Provide for your wife by working for income, guarding her from temptation, and planning your finances with the wisdom of God.

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