Love Your Wife by Appreciating Her

Scriptures: Genesis 2:18
by Jacob Abshire on February 10, 2015

American writer Kin Hubbard scored when he said, “Of all the home remedies, a good wife is best.”

A scripture often forgotten by men concerning love for their wives is Genesis 2:18: “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.”

In the context, the “man” was Adam. But God had all men in mind. He says “the man” should not be alone. And “the man” needs a helper.

You see, not only is your wife an equal but different, and a more sensitive and emotional human, she’s also your best fit—your complementary partner, your perfectly designed helper. Why? Because even though you’re “the man,” you still need help. Your mission in life cannot be done alone.

This means your wife brings something to the marriage you cannot bring alone. She contributes a significant and necessary element. Without her, you’re still “the man,” but only half as good as you should be.

If this energizes you to lead in love like it does me, then your heart is rising with gratitude. As your perfectly-designed-helper, she pulls the cart with you, making it move toward God’s end more effectively and pleasantly. She helps carry the weight so it’s not as heavy. She bears some of the burden so it’s not as taxing. She endures a level of suffering for your sake.

You should be grateful.

Gratitude is not only a characteristic of the Christ follower, it’s a command to the Christ follower. We are charged to thank God for our fellow Christians (Eph. 1:6), for God’s good gifts (Ja. 1:17) and steadfast love (Ps. 107:1), for our salvation (Heb. 12:28), for our day (Ps. 118:24), and in all circumstances (1 Thess. 5:18).

By thanking God, we acknowledge His goodness to us as well as His existence as Lord. Giving thanks to your wife acknowledges her goodness to you as well as her existence as your helper—her unique calling. Here are two high level principles to keep in mind as you work toward appreciating your wife.

Thank God in Her Presence

In marriage, Christ is the boss. He is your boss as much as He is her’s. So go to prayer with her in your presence, even with her joining you, and express deep and descriptive thanksgiving to God for Him working in and through your wife as your helper. Tell God all the things she does to help and why it’s a blessing to you. Boasting to the boss is a huge encouragement to the employee.

Thank Her in God’s Presence

In the same way, do not neglect the easier way of expressing thanks. Tell your wife in detail why she’s so helpful. Explain to her how she made your life, work, and parenting more effective and pleasant. Compliment her when she does well. Say it directly to her, to her friends, to your friends, and to strangers. You don’t have to be eloquent. You just have to be audible. And, do your best to be descriptive and specific.

Appreciation can go a long way in leading your wife in love. It not only encourages her to press on in marriage, endure as a parent, and be longsuffering as a missionary in the world, it also exemplifies good Christian character she can model with others.

A New Discipleship Resource

Creative Content for Christian Men

Instead of comments, I accept and encourage letters to the editor. If you want to write a letter to the editor, you can do so here.