Gratitude Killers

It was late in the evening. The rain had started to fall. I had just finished unloading some church equipment when a man pulled up beside me with a car full of children. “Excuse me,” he said. “I need some gas to get across town, but I left my wallet at home.”

I believed him. I opened my wallet and found a single five-dollar bill. “Here,” I said, “this should get you across town.” He took it, looked disappointed, and asked, “Is this all you’ve got?” Then, shaking his head, he rolled up his window and sped away.

At our house, we have a saying, “You get what you get, and you don’t throw a fit.” He wasn’t family, but he needed to hear it. Maybe he thought I had more to give. Maybe he expected something else. Either way, his reaction mirrors how many of us respond to God.

God’s pockets are infinitely deep, and He generously fills our lives with blessings—but when His gifts don’t match our expectations, we often respond with disappointment, even contempt. Gratitude fades, and grumbling takes its place.

Over the past few weeks, we’ve learned that gratitude is commanded by God, fueled by grace, and suitable for all circumstances—even bad ones. But faith must also guard what it gives. Even those who have received mercy can lose sight of it.

The road to thanksgiving is often cluttered with obstacles that can block our joy.

Jesus once healed ten lepers. All cried out for mercy; all were healed. But only one returned to give thanks (Lk. 17:11–19). The others kept walking—receiving the gift but forgetting the Giver. Their bodies were made whole, but their hearts remained cold.

Jesus asked, “Were not ten cleansed? Where are the nine?” (Lk. 17:17). That question still echoes today. How many of us enjoy God’s blessings yet fail to bow in gratitude?

The Roadblocks to Thanksgiving

If gratitude is the mark of a healthy heart, then we must learn to recognize what hinders it. The road to thanksgiving is often cluttered with obstacles that, if ignored, can completely block our joy. Here are some of the most common enemies of gratitude:

• Selfishness. We’re born wanting and whining. Self-centeredness makes life about our desires instead of God’s will. A selfish heart can’t give thanks because it’s always looking for more.
• Worldliness. When possessions, popularity, and pleasure consume our attention, we lose sight of eternity (1 Jn. 2:16). Gratitude shrinks to fit a temporary world.
• Criticism. The chronically negative heart sees only what’s wrong. Bitterness replaces blessing; complaint replaces praise.
• Impatience. We want God’s goodness on our timeline. When God delays according to our expectations, we grow restless instead of thankful.
• Disappointment. Unrealistic expectations rob joy. When God’s gifts don’t match our imagined outcomes, we stop seeing them as gifts at all.
• Coldness. Spiritual lethargy dulls our affections. When worship feels bland and God’s Word feels distant, gratitude fades into numbness.
• Rebellion. Defiance toward God hardens the heart. Gratitude cannot coexist with resistance to His will.
• Forgetfulness. When we don’t make thanksgiving intentional, we drift toward neglect. Gratitude must be written on our calendars, not left to chance.
• Entitlement. When we believe we deserve what we have, we stop seeing grace for what it is—undeserved favor.
• Comparison. Measuring our blessings against others’ always leads to discontent. Gratitude dies where envy thrives.
• Blindness. Sometimes blessings are simply overlooked. A healed body can be hidden behind a hospital bill; a closer family can be overshadowed by the storm that brought them together.
• Doubt. When we question God’s goodness or power, thanksgiving feels hollow. Faith and gratitude rise and fall together.
• Disbelief. Ultimately, unbelief is the deepest root of ingratitude. Without saving faith, there is no Spirit-fueled thanksgiving.

The Danger of Grumbling

The Israelites in the wilderness provide a sobering example. Though they saw God’s wonders firsthand, they forgot His works and doubted His care (Ps. 78:11; 106:7). Their ingratitude turned to grumbling, rebellion, and eventual judgment (Num. 14; 1 Cor. 10:1–13).

Paul warned that for the Christian, ingratitude is “out of place,” and our speech should “instead be thanksgiving” (Eph. 5:4). Gratitude isn’t merely polite—it’s protective. It guards us from the decay of complaint and the drift of unbelief.

“Do all things without grumbling or disputing,” Paul wrote, “that you may be blameless and innocent… among whom you shine as lights in the world” (Phil. 2:14-15).

Clearing the Roadblocks

The nine healed lepers walked away whole in body but empty in heart. Only one turned back—clearing the roadblocks of pride, hurry, and self-interest—to kneel at Jesus’ feet.

The same choice faces us daily. Will we walk away with blessings in hand, or turn back to the Blesser in worship?

Christian, be alert to the hindrances of gratitude. Clear the roadblocks, and the Spirit will return warmth to your heart. The enemies of thankfulness are many, but the grace that restores it is greater.

Pause today and ask: Am I known as a grateful person? If not, turn back to Christ. Clear the roadblocks—and watch gratitude come alive again.

This article was adapted from the book Grateful Again by Jacob Abshire.