8 Steps to Be an Awesome Accountability Partner

by Jacob Abshire on September 22, 2014

[callout]I once read a shirt that said, “Anyone can be cool, but awesome takes practice.” I tend to agree.[/callout]

For God, awesome comes natural (Ps. 68:35). But for the rest of us, we have to practice. This is particularly true with accountability. We often fall short of being awesome accountability partners because accountability wears overalls and looks like work. And really, who wants to work hard to be accountable?

Well, you do. You are either a Christian man or a Christian woman who understands the great rewards of diligently pursuing godliness by locking arms with others and waging war on personal sin. But still, awesome isn’t always achieved. Yet, with a little help, you can point and shoot with intent to hit awesome each time.

Here are eight steps to be an awesome accountability partner.

Make it easy to ask for help.

Sometimes, we shy away from asking others for help. Unfortunately, this happens in accountability groups as much as it does anywhere else. So do your accountability partner a favor, and ask him or her for ways you can help in their weakness. It will make it easier for them to tell you.

Probe their life for needs.

It can be hard to express our weaknesses—especially for men. A good accountability partner is one who can probe the other with questions and conversational pieces in order to discover his or her real needs. Engage your partner. Get to the real matters. Then you will discover their needs and where you can help them be accountable.

Pray for their needs.

Most of us tell others that we are praying for them when we’re not. Don’t be that way. When your accountability partner has a need, commit yourself to setting aside daily time to pray. Be intentional. Be consistent. Pray deeply and sincerely. If it were you, what would you pray about and how would you feel? Take that to the Lord in hope.

Send encouraging notes.

This might be hard for real dudes—we don’t do notes. So, shoot a text, send an email–whatever you can do to get an encouraging message to your friend. Perhaps in your devotional time you read something that will strengthen their heart. Share it. Believe me, it helps.

Follow up.

While notes and prayer are helpful, be sure to follow up. This will do at least two things. First, it will remind them they have another stakeholder in the battle against sin. Second, it will help them be mindful of their responsibility to keep fighting and probably infuse them with more strength.

Be available.

Accountability won’t work if you’re too busy to interact with your accountability partner. You need to make time. Schedule moments of the day or points during the week that are set aside for accountability meetings. Be sure to give them your attention. Be available.

Be willing to stop and help.

Setting aside time is not enough on some occasions. There are moments in life when weakness is at its strongest. In those moments, we need our accountability partner near. When your partner has those moments, be willing to stop what you’re doing and run to help. Often, just being there with them is all it takes to overcome temptation.

Be devoted to your own godliness.

Finally, be devoted to your own spiritual well-being. By this, I mean you should pray regularly, read and study the Bible, discipline yourself by withholding things that are naturally satisfying (like sleep, food, entertainment), and submit to biblical teaching and leadership. When you develop yourself, you will be a better instrument in the Spirit’s work of developing your accountability partner.

Mark these things down and try your best to do them for the sake of your accountability partner. You owe it to them.

Download My Brother’s Keeper: An Essential Guide to Christian Accountability and form habits of grace that make you more like Christ.

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